laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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