I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
