We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
