I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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