The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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