I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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