I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
