i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
being pregnant is like rehab
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
