Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
