I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
