he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize