So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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