Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh god it's open bar.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
