so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
