I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
