I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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