he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
