Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
