Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
