Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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