Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There r osticjed everywhere
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
