i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
