dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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