It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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