i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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