last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
