Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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