The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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