She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
