Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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