Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
