True but thats because hes a fetus.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
