I just made out with a guy for $7.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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