i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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