i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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