I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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