They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
