just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
