She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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