I'm eating all of the evidence.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
