I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
