Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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