Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
