and i looked up. we had an audience...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
