She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
