I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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