thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
please come you make the beer taste better
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
