Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
