how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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