I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
