I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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